| BROKEN FOR GOOD |
[29 Mar 2005|01:54pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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Silence....No noise at all. |
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x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : *Smiles.* You don't fucken get it..
punkish_sora: No
punkish_sora: Really
punkish_sora: I don't
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : I wish he was dead, like she was.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : So I didn't have to hear him, or look.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : It'd be so much more easier for me.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : I don't know why I do this to myself, 'cause he doesn't care about me, he just doesn't care at all.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : And for some reason, I have this fucking stupid idea in my heart that we'll be friends and be all happy.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : BUT IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN.
punkish_sora: I can't really say or do anything to help
punkish_sora: Sorry..
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Whatever, it's fine.
punkish_sora: Tell me
punkish_sora: How can I help?
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Nothing.
punkish_sora: I can't. I really can't because I don't know what to do
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Just stop, don't bring it up anymore...
punkish_sora: You brought it up
punkish_sora: Not me..
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : It was my fault to even talk about him.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : I know, and then you asked if, -- FUCKING HELL.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x 's status is now "I'll wait forever, [so go ahead and push me away.] You made a promise, [please don't break it.] I fucking loved you, [and it's sad 'cause I still do.] Nicholas Richard Summerhayes, you broke me..". (3/29/2005 1:42 PM)
punkish_sora: And it's sad. [because you lost me] And it's upsetting [because I want to stay with you] But this is the last straw [I love you but I can't deal with it] I can't pick up the pieces [I won't break them anymore either] Glad to have met you. But it's over. Sorry shey
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Sure you are.
punkish_sora: Really I am. But you talk about other people so much
punkish_sora: How you still love them
punkish_sora: I NEVER do that to you
punkish_sora: At all.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : It's not my fault.
punkish_sora: The reason I said it's over
punkish_sora: Yes it is
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : It's my heart.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : I can't trace him away.
punkish_sora: But you continuely tell ME of all people about him
punkish_sora: You know I get jealous. and you know I hate this subject.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : *Smiles, closing her eyes slowly.*
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Jealousy can kill..
punkish_sora: I know that
punkish_sora: And right now....I don't know what else to do now.
punkish_sora: You don't love me.
punkish_sora: It's plain and simple. you still love nick
punkish_sora: You can not love me, while you still love another
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Omigfuckengod.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : You're saying, since I still love Nick, I can't love anyone else?
punkish_sora: Yup. Atleast you can't love me.
punkish_sora: You always bring him up in our cnversations. or somehow an ex gets brought up.
punkish_sora: It makes me feel low.
punkish_sora: Like I'm just a support for comfort
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : You know what, fuck this. Say what you want, I'm sick of all of everything. Maybe I'll just turn to pills again, and overdose. Whatever.. Just whatever.
punkish_sora: I'm sorry Shey. I do love you. But right now I don't know what else to do
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Don't.
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Just go..
punkish_sora: vampire_named_twist: I'm saying everything I'm thinking and feeling right now.
survive_or_die_trying : I know how you feel, like you're just the rebound for someone the other still thinks about and seems to always prefer over you ...
punkish_sora: She read my mind
punkish_sora: Goodbye Shey..
x0xflavored_lip_glossx0x : Goodbye, Love..
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| NEW LJ SN |
[27 Mar 2005|10:16am] |
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mood |
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 Happy/Excited |
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music |
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Anastasia - At the Begining With You |
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New sn. Add it when possible.
dark_soul_riku
It's mostly a RP journal. Me and Jay are starting a kingdom Hearts RP. Yaoi of course. Want to join, post in my new journal once it's up. Add me to your friendslist on that journal too btw. Thanks. =D
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| -Sighs.- Brian... |
[22 Feb 2005|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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Too much practice for Softball |
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music |
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OMGZ LOL EMO |
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Brian...
I'm glad to have met you.
I'm glad to be your friend...
I'm even happier to have fallen inlove with you...
But...For now...Our love exists...
Only in Dreams.
For all my close friends, you all know what's going on...You all know what me and Brian and Jay are going through at the moment. So no need to post here and be all: OMG R U OK?! Cause no one cares anyway.
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| FAILING FUCK |
[15 Feb 2005|04:30pm] |
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mood |
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;-; |
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music |
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Ashlee Simpson - Unreachable |
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I'm in danger of failing the following classes in school: Math, Science, English, and History. Of course, ALL THE MAIN ONES. I may not be on as much now-a-days because I HAVE to pass....Meaning I'm going to study more and stuff, less internet time. Anyway, that's all.
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| Valentine |
[14 Feb 2005|07:04am] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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My Chemical Romance - Demolition Lovers |
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HAPPY VALENTINES DAY LIL FUCKERS -Bam Style.-
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| Bleh again... |
[13 Feb 2005|03:41pm] |
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mood |
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^^ |
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BANG BANG
.....
Don't ask.
Someone knows what I mean.
xD!
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| .....World has Crumbled |
[12 Feb 2005|07:07pm] |
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mood |
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..... |
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music |
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Evanescence - Forgive Me |
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"I heard the words come out.
I felt that I would die....It hurt so much to hurt you.
Then you look at me.
You're not shouting anymore...
You're silently Broken."
I feel....as though my world has crumbled...
....I can't live this life...Anymore...
I get nothing but pain...
But...this goes along with a lotof my other posts...
I will not be weak and kill myself.
I WILL NOT be a wuss and punk out of life...
I will carry my scars..
Because there is not one person in this world...
That hasn't suffered a loss like I have today...
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| Hahaha Shey |
[08 Feb 2005|05:19pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Shey being a Dweeb on the phone |
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Today sucked a bit...
Talking to Shey on the phone.
I suppose I gotta tell everyone...
I failed two classes....
Blah oh well.
I'm gonna try harder this time!
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[06 Feb 2005|10:54pm] |
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mood |
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 PROUD OF PATRIOTS |
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music |
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Kelly Clarkson - Since You've Been Gone |
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PATRIOTS FUCKING OWNED THE EAGLES. THEY HAD IT COMING
HAHAHA WHAT NOW PHILLY?!
YOUR PRECIOUS EAGLES SUCK.
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| Crying |
[30 Jan 2005|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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Slipknot - Fuck This World |
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I'm crying...
I'm broken...
Ryan...
Hates me...
One of my best friends...
he hates me...
I'm crying so much right now.
But none of you give a shit.
So why do I even bother posting anything here.
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| Wow. So amazing |
[30 Jan 2005|06:08pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Marylin Manson - The Beautiful People |
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So amazing....
I lost Contact with Vinny...
This totally sucks ASS.
I may be going to Ohio for Spring Break.
Gonna go see Shey and snuggle wif her. Haha.
Anyway....
Nothing much....Maybe some more tonight..
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| Fucking FUNNY ass Convo |
[27 Jan 2005|11:58pm] |
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mood |
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Bouncyyyyy |
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music |
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MY SPOON IS TOO BIG... |
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unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Cloud: Dance! Everybody Dance! Everybody: yayayayayayya Cloud: life is good! Everybody: Yayayayayaya Cloud: MY ANUS IS BLEEDING. Everybody: Yayayayayayayay Cloud: My anus...IS BLEEDING! Everbody! yayaya wooo Cloud: For the love of god and everything that is holy, MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!! Everybody! Yayaya wooo wheeeee!! Cloud: AHHHHHH -Drowns in anus blood.-
baaaaakuuuurachaaaaan : o.o;;;;
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: This is the best cartoon in the world.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: xD
baaaaakuuuurachaaaaan : XD
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Omg.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: There's the two random stick guys.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: One rips off the other stomach.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Beats him to death with it.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Then weas it as a hat
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: xD!!!
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Wears^
baaaaakuuuurachaaaaan : o.o XD! Ew.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Then they have these two guys
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Ninja tyelling
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Suddenly, on of the guys eyes pops out
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: And is squirting blood on the other.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: BUT
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: They act like it's nothing and continue their ninja yells.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: xD!!
baaaaakuuuurachaaaaan : XD
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Little stick: My spoon is too big. My SPOON is too BIG. MY SPOON is too big.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Banana: -Walks up....Pause....High squeaky voice.- I am a banana =D
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: xD
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Stick guy: I live in a giant bucket. Other stick guy: Heeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaa.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Stick guy: Fuck. -beeped it out.-
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: xD
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Welcome to the Family Learning Channel
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: And now.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: ANGRY TICKS FLY OUT MY NIPPLES
baaaaakuuuurachaaaaan : o.o;
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -Ticks fly out and attack children.-
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: That was just so messed up when that came on.
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: I was like: Wtf
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: xD
baaaaakuuuurachaaaaan : ^.^
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: NOW WITH MORE SOODIUM!
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Sweet Jesus! =D
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: I'm the King of Frane! -Dance.-
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: France
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: ^
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: Omg look honey! Our babies first steps!
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: -Baby falls down steps.-
unbreakable_trust_boulevardez: xD!!!!
I'm Boulevardez, Bakurachan is Jenn <3
God. That was probably the best convo ever.
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| Over. |
[26 Jan 2005|06:41pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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Lindsey Lohan - Over |
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"Over"
I watched the walls around me crumble
But its not like I won't build em up again
So here your last change for redemption
So take it while it lasts because it will end
And my tears are turning into time I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
[Chorus:]
I cant live without you
Can't breathe without you I dream about you honestly
Tell me that its over
Because the world is spinning and I'm still living
It wont be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know
I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time you're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
[Chorus]
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
[Chorus]
Tell me that it's over
Over
Honestly tell me
Honestly tell me
Don't tell me that its over
Don't tell me that its over..
Do these lyrics hit you emotionally? They hit me emotionally...
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| Fuck it... |
[26 Jan 2005|06:21pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Ashlee Simpson - Shadow |
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My journal is now public due toa few reasons...
Friends only gets annoying.
Only personal posts will be kept Friends Only now.
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| Late nights |
[25 Jan 2005|11:42pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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Lindsey Lohan - I decide |
] |
Ever have someone plagueing your mind for hours upon hours?
That's happening with me right now. No matter HOW hard I try, I can't get her off my mind.
God damnit. I mean, I'm supposed to hate her! Everyone thinks I hate her...
But...I think....I like her.
Love her?
Nah...
But a big crush.
God, I feel dirty....
I feel like I'm cheating due to having a crush on someone...
This is bullshit....This is gonna fucking tear me up..
It's already keeping me awake.
I mean...I like this girl..
Tomorrow I may tell her.
I don't fucking know anymore...
I'm scared I may lose her friendship.
I'm scared of losing the one i love because of a crush.
God, m life is going straight down the gutter...
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| For all my faithful readers... |
[25 Jan 2005|06:37am] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
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music |
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Offspring - Bad Habit |
] |
I'm...not going to post in a while probably.
A lot of personal things going on at home with my family.
I don't want to talk about it, nor do I want pity. I just wanted to tell you guys that....
I probaby won't be myself for a while.
Today my mom flipped out and back handed me, saying I can't wear black anymore..
I didn't hit her back.
But anyway, luff you guys. -Salute-
~Public Post~
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| Haha. Shey was OWNED |
[16 Jan 2005|02:10am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
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music |
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Rammstein - Morgenstern |
] |
haha. Look at this. It doesn't even deserve my time to type a LJ cut.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:52:45 AM): I hate Die now.........
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:18 AM): I'v hated HER for a while
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:24 AM): I saw her in chat
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:25 AM): and was like
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:26 AM): Hey:
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:32 AM): She said: Good god
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:34 AM): -Leaves.-
getting_away_with_murderah (1:53:37 AM): She basically called me a slut....
getting_away_with_murderah (1:53:41 AM): So, yeah.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:43 AM): Why?
getting_away_with_murderah (1:53:46 AM): 'Unno,
getting_away_with_murderah (1:53:47 AM): She's all,
getting_away_with_murderah (1:53:54 AM): So you love Britt? Don't you, don't you?
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:53:55 AM): Lemme see convo
getting_away_with_murderah (1:53:56 AM): o.O;
getting_away_with_murderah (1:53:58 AM): Mk.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:54:49 AM): getting_away_with_murderah: o.O getting_away_with_murderah: Uh, Rwar? Die : *Stares, tilting his tead slowly to pop his neck* What. getting_away_with_murderah: .:.Blinks a bit, staring blankly.:. Uh.. No..Nothing. Die : Then why did you IM me. Apparently you wanted something. getting_away_with_murderah: .:.She sighed, shaking her head and turning around.:. I'll just go. Apperently you don't want me around.. Die : ....Whatever blows your skirt up. getting_away_with_murderah: .:.She turned around, glaring. Her hand raised, and she swiped it across his cheekbone, tears begining to stream down her cheeks, she turned around and ran off.:.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:54:55 AM): * Stares blankly and rubs at his cheek* Unlike younger gennerations. We've trained for years to turn off our emotion at will. And unlike you, we refuse to live with thoes emotions of anger and fill the void with what ever we can. Yell at me, hit me... whatever you want. I can't feel it. Not from you.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:55:33 AM): Emotions?
getting_away_with_murderah (1:55:39 AM): x.X No fucking clue.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:55:40 AM): Why would she be having emotions?
getting_away_with_murderah (1:55:47 AM): o.o; 'Unno.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:55:49 AM): And why is there a big gap?
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:55:55 AM): probably cut something out.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:56:00 AM): Oh,
getting_away_with_murderah (1:56:11 AM): Well the Message Archive didn't record it.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:56:13 AM): So, yeah.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:56:20 AM): Denn du bist.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:56:24 AM): Er? x.x''
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:56:38 AM): -Snorts.- Du hast.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:57:15 AM): .:.Closes eyes, mumbling as a doplet of a sweat formed onto the side of her head.:.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:57:17 AM): -__-...
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:57:19 AM): Message Archive records everything.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:57:29 AM): o.O Not always.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:57:36 AM): Most Recent aren't recorded.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:57:45 AM): Ich habe keine Lust mich nicht zu Hassen!
getting_away_with_murderah (1:57:52 AM): Brittany! ><;
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:58:25 AM): Hab' keine Lust es zu riskieren.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:58:38 AM): haha..
getting_away_with_murderah (1:59:08 AM): ..You suck. x.x;
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:59:09 AM): auf Die seele meine.
getting_away_with_murderah (1:59:13 AM): x.x Stopitttt!
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:59:18 AM): No.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:59:23 AM): You deserve what I'm saying
getting_away_with_murderah (1:59:26 AM): o_o'
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (1:59:59 AM): auf Die wangen...ach scheine.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:00:30 AM): I bet you were dating Die on the side.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:00:53 AM): That's mainly what I was saying. plus some profanity.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:01:08 AM): i bet that's why you slapped him all emotionally.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:01:23 AM): I bet THAT'S why you suddenly started talking to her.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:01:36 AM): I'm not stupid either Shey.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:02:16 AM): Heute treff' ich einen Herrn.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:02:56 AM): So. why so quiet now?
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:03:03 AM): I was right probably.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:03:14 AM): You were 'so happy' with me.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:03:16 AM): LIES.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:03:33 AM): Every single one. Every single time you said 'I love you'
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:03:37 AM): It was a lie.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:04:06 AM): I hate being lied to, especually about that.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:04:18 AM): HASSEN
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:04:37 AM): I'm sick of you. I'm sick of Die.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:04:41 AM): Now that he hates you.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:04:49 AM): It's only right if I follow suit.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:05:01 AM): Because she was probably right about you being a slut.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:05:25 AM): You get emotional from....everything. You wouldn't have just slapped Die out of no where. He didn't say anything to make you slap him.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:05:36 AM): From what you showed me anyway he didn't.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:06:05 AM): Haha. Just like Die. Backed into a corner and think not talking will make me stop.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:06:15 AM): Think again. I can talk to myself just fine.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:06:52 AM): Well..
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:06:55 AM): let's see now..
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:07:14 AM): Now I know why you would send out an Email to both me AND Die when you wouldn't be online.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:07:32 AM): Now I know why you suddenly got in a 'friendship' with Die.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:08:12 AM): And now YOU know how it is to loose someone because even if you don't lose Die.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:08:23 AM): You just officailly lost me.
koijo_wee_anthro_bat (2:09:27 AM): And with that said. -Stretches out and continues to talk to Darin on the phone.- I end our last conversation.
AND IT'S PUBLIC.
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haggard_bam's journal